07 Feb 2019
Hey everybody,

Over the last 7 years this forum has grown exponentially. With your help, We have created a community of Kratom enthusiasts to come together and discuss the industry. The traffic that this site has received has been exciting but also overwhelming. All the while the site grew a little out of date. Over the last few weeks we have updated the platform of the Forum as well as the face of the forum. CHECK OUT THAT NEW LOGO!!! sweet right?!


We could use your help though...
Read More...
You guessed it! This section is for general discussion that may or may not have anything to do with Kratom.
  • Page:
  • 1
Bookmark and Share

TOPIC: Sending many hugs

Sending many hugs 5 months 1 week ago #41082

  • Usernametaken
  • Usernametaken's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 401
  • Karma: 14
  • Thank you received: 630
Sending much love & hugs to Michele373!
She understood my situation that I was without Kratom and without asking voluntarily sent me a Care Package! I had no idea what she’d send cause it didn’t matter.

I’d gladly take something that didn’t work for her or her hubby yet she sent Red Borneo from Nature’s Cure which I know she likes plus White Malay from Florida Rooted and Green Bali from Enhanciosa. I didn’t weigh any of it but at least an oz of 2 of them and probably 2 oz of the Red Borneo!

I’m so delighted and appreciative. When I’m able I’ll pay it forward. This is an exceptional community and I’m so grateful I found a group of such caring souls! Much luv to Michele and all the special peeps on here!!

Best To All,
Dawn

Couldn’t have come at a better time! She shipped it Wednesday and even paid extra for priority mail. Can’t ask for more <hugs> much love!

Edit: I immediately tried 3 grams of the Red Borneo and within 15 minutes felt better with mood lift and a calm centered feeling.
“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth”


“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one”

-Albert Einstein
The following user(s) said Thank You: Laurie, Insense1, Tiggermanscrat, michele373

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Last edit: by Usernametaken.

Sending many hugs 5 months 1 week ago #41083

  • Usernametaken
  • Usernametaken's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 401
  • Karma: 14
  • Thank you received: 630
I plan on taking notes and then reviewing each strain. I was hoping the order would arrive today. I’ve never gone this long without kratom. I know Laurie mentioned how when she went without she Realized just how much it aided in pain relief. I’ve noticed the same thing and I truly believe it works better than pain pills. I’ve said it doesn’t help my depression but that’s my perspective.

My family members have noticed a difference when I’ve gone without then dosed, especially my mom. Though I hadn’t gone days without. This is the longest I’ve gone without.

My mom says she definitely sees a difference in me when I take kratom and it’s a positive difference. My dad used to be against me taking it due primarily to the cost. My mom says the benefits outweigh the cost. Honestly w/o help from them I couldn’t afford kratom at all. So I’m very grateful for MY Entire Family and I’d be so Lost without them.

My Mom is My Rock!! Always there for ME and Supportive Even when I f**k up! Which I sometimes do. She’s the family caretaker, unfortunately that means she puts herself last and that bothers me.

Everyone be sure to tell the important people in your life YOU LOVE them cause you never know how much time they have or how much you have.

My fiancé (my son’s father) died in my arms after the hospital released him. He had never taken opiates and at that time I was in Methadone which I had in a lock box. For whatever reason, I’ll never know why he took some w/o my knowledge.

While in a Popeye’s fast food joint in Maryland next to the DC line I told him it was time to go and he didn’t move. I then realized he was blue and unresponsive w/no pulse. I screamed for anyone to call 911.

He had been acting strangely but it never crossed my mind that he would take Methadone!! Paramedics arrived and were able to revive him. They were asking me questions about what could be the cause and I was offering up anything I could think of. Lastly, I told them I was prescribed Methadone.

They gave him Narcan. He was in and out of consciousness. At one point he said my GF gave me Methadone. I was completely shocked cause I didn’t do that! I thought I was going to jail and sure enough several police officers showed up & asked me questions.

Apparently he had been drinking. I didn’t know this I had come down to visit h for the weekend. He also tested positive for weed and had cocaine metabolites in his system. I was so perplexed by this. I figured we would be able to discuss this whole situation once things calmed down.

One thing I knew for sure was that Methadone lasts a very long time in the body. It has a very long half life. So although they gave him Narcan once it wore off he’d be unconscious again.

We were in the hospital from 1:30 pm to 11:30 pm when the Dr. tells me abruptly and rudely that since he’s conscious they have no reason to keep him! I begged and pleaded with her to NOT RELEASE HIM. I even explained about the Narcan wearing off. She didn’t listen or care. They treated him as though he was just another addict!! So we went home to his apartment.

We didn’t discuss what had happened it was too overwhelming. I thought we would talk the ne t day. We both went to bed. On the nightstand sat several Bride’s Magazine as we were planning OUR wedding. My son was 6 at this time and so happy to have his Mom & Dad back together.

I woke at 5:30 am to use bathroom it was dark outside so I opened bathroom door so that I could check on him. I noticed that he was sweating profusely. I put a cold damp washcloth on his head. When I asked how he felt he said, “Happy”. Something was wrong and I knew it. I payed beside him and he rolled on top of me gave me a great big hug and said, “I love you”. I said it back and he replied, “that’s what I needed to hear”. At that point I realized I needed to call 911. They didn’t tell me to perform CPR or anything. He was breathing strangely. I told him he needed to take Deep breath’s. He said I’m trying to do what you are telling me to. Those were the last words I never heard from him. He died less than a minute later while I held him in my arms. Paramedics had a ride but it was too late. They usually don’t allow you to ride with them. But the female driver allowed me to go with her in the front deep breath’s. He said, “I’m trying to do what you are telling me to”. Those words were the Last I heard from Him. I was begging and pleading with him to please stay with me that I couldn’t raise my son on my own and we both needed him. I then heard a sound I’ll Never Forget and NEVER want to hear again.

Later I was told the sound I heard is called a death rattle! He died less than a minute later while I held him in my arms. Paramedics had arrived but it was too late. They usually don’t allow you to ride with them. But the female driver allowed me to go with her in the front of the ambulance. She was straight up with me and said that they were unable to revive him and he wouldn’t be coming back.

I had no intention of telling this story. I don’t know why it came out now. But it was one of the most painful things I’ve ever gone through in my life to have somebody I loved die in my arms because they took a medication that was prescribed to me. I know it’s not my fault. However, back then I felt so much guilt. I thought to myself if I was never an addict and if I hadn’t been on methadone he would’ve never been around it.

His family and friends blamed me. I was the outcast at the funeral.
“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth”


“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one”

-Albert Einstein
The following user(s) said Thank You: Laurie, Tiggermanscrat, michele373, Babel-17

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Sending many hugs 5 months 1 week ago #41084

  • jayisk
  • jayisk's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Gold Boarder
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 197
  • Karma: 15
  • Thank you received: 498
Sorry to hear about your traumatic lose and on top of that being treated like you had something to do with. and the type of treatment he had to deal with from ignorant doctors that dont understand addiction.

" the sound I heard is called a death rattle"

i have heard it twice in my life and it is a very surreal sound you never forget.

kratom will def. help with all the emotions one goes through in situations like this. it is keeping me going right now.

cant really say anything else but life really sucks at times and it everything can change in the blink of an eye.
take care of yourself.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Laurie, Usernametaken, Insense1, Tiggermanscrat, michele373

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Sending many hugs 5 months 1 week ago #41085

  • Usernametaken
  • Usernametaken's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 401
  • Karma: 14
  • Thank you received: 630
@ Jayisk I appreciate your reply. Idk what made me bring this up today. I guess when I was talking about telling those close to you that you Love them & tell them NOW made me think of him.

My son is now 22 so this happened a long time ago but you know as we go through our daily lives we might have disagreements or fights with family members or friends. It’s natural to expect to see them again. To be able to apologize if you should.

I know I often don’t live in the present. I think of the past or worry about the future. We assume we can tell them sorry later or whatever but that traumatic event made me realize we don’t always have a tomorrow to tell someone something.

I’m grateful that I was able to tell him I loved him and he said it back. He was 38 and of course something like this happening never crossed my mind. I never knew him to be an addict. I don’t think he was. But I definitely had questions I would have liked to ask him.

The way his sister who lived with him treated me afterwards was horrible. My mom came down to provide support, as I was absolutely devastated! His sister called my mom names. It made the situation all the worse. His sister refused to let me back in the apartment to get my luggage and stuff. One thing I never brought up but thought it was disgusting. His clothes were lying in a pile. He had taken $400 out of the atm for me earlier that day and you know what.... while I’m in the ambulance being told he’s not going to survive, his sister went into his pant’s pocket and stole my money!! That money was the LAST thing on my mind!! That’s just sickening to me that she stooped so low.

To this day my son wonders how his life would’ve been different if his Dad hadn’t died. My son never really had a father figure. I was very careful with having guys around. I never had a lot of different men in and out of my life and around my son.

I’m sorry that you had to hear that sound twice. You’re right it is surreal and unforgettable!
“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth”


“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one”

-Albert Einstein
The following user(s) said Thank You: Laurie, Insense1, Tiggermanscrat, michele373

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Sending many hugs 5 months 1 week ago #41087

  • Laurie
  • Laurie's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Administrator
  • Administrator
  • Have a better day!
  • Posts: 5838
  • Karma: 92
  • Thank you received: 8019
>:D >:D >:D >:D
(L) (L) (c) (L) (L)
Laurie
The following user(s) said Thank You: Usernametaken, Insense1, Tiggermanscrat, michele373

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Sending many hugs 5 months 1 week ago #41089

  • michele373
  • michele373's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1007
  • Karma: 30
  • Thank you received: 2852
dawn,

im so glad it came and you can get some relief. to me its like giving a bottle of Tylenol for a friend that needs it. yes we all don't 'know' each other but we se each others souls in a way. we bear our rawest emotions. and to me that's better than some family that I do have to be quite honest. I didn't do it for the recognition, just helping a friend when I can that's all.

thank you for sharing your life experiences with us. don't blame yourself. its a whole lot easier blaming another than taking responsibility of your actions. like an adult. its not like you knew everything he was putting in his body. not judging, maybe he thought others might. you didn't force feed him anything. maybe it was his time regardless. there is no 'good time' and no one has an expiration date on their arse.

kratering,

I know exectly what you mean about the 'death rattle' ive heard it a few times in my life and it shortly ended as such. never easy. I hope you are ok. im not expecting you to be good. just ok. it will get easier to manage I promise. you are still in my prayers.. not that anyone listens lol but I do think about your situation often. hang in we are there for you
The following user(s) said Thank You: Laurie, Usernametaken, Insense1, jayisk, Tiggermanscrat

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • Page:
  • 1
Moderators: kemppaulh
Time to create page: 0.048 seconds