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TOPIC: My mom has dementia but with an asterisk

My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38509

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Good support and encouragement here, I used to help my grandpa who had a stroke, 3 heart attacks and triple bypass , he was a flight engineer in 2 or 3 wars ... at least 2 and was as sharp as they came, but stroke left him stuttering every other word.. so frustrating for him and as a 19 year old living with him, I was frustrated as well, I wish I could go back and ask all the questions I didn’t ask back then. He didn’t have dementia so I don’t know what that’s like ... I just know that I missed out by being a little 19 yo sh-t that couldn’t give him more of what he deserved, patience and understanding.

What allnof you do for your parents must be very challenging and trying all your reserves, much respect for what catebyou give to them , doesn’t mean it’s easy but it’s such an honor to tend our elders, somthing our society has much to improve upon.


Soooo. .... good job, it’s tough work and wether they get what youball do for them, it’s good medicine and when they are gone , you know you did the best you could for them,

Thx for sharing such intimate and real life things, I think being totally vulnerable in telling these experiences is a true gift to all of us who stumbling through life , that we best take care of ourselves and eachother , it’s what we have to work with and hopefully make better in the ways we can .

Much love and respect !!!! :x (L) to all of you

Have e a great weekend
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38511

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Laurie you would think there was a closet with paper towels to last an eternity (my parents have enough toilet paper til infinity) How odd there is probably some crazy logic why that particular item is not on their hoarding list.

Don brings light and cheer to the venting topic :x /

Michelle I feel there is a little more vent in you which is why I started this thread.
When I see them this Sunday I am going to have to update I am sure.
Sometimes I feel like I am the mean version of Marie Kondo. konmari.com/

I started out depressed felt the mom daughter relationship/friendships ended. Then would just do things to make her happy. Also realized this approach is touchy because enabling her to bad behavior helps no one and does not help her dementia**.
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38512

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That’s a tricky balancing act, Nan70!

I know my fever is from stress related to moving back home on Mother’s Day Evening!

So I will be waiting for an update from you and my “verbal vomit” will follow next week...

I appreciate sharing this stuff with such friends I’ve come to LOVE. I already CARED, ya know?

It all comes back to WHY we work SO HARD to keep our health and pain management up! We cannot help our loved ones if we aren’t CONSTANTLY working on ourselves. The kratom link between us really shows how much of a blessing a leaf and SOME pain relief can do to improve the quality of how we affect others in our circle of the world.

Keep up the good work on ourselves!
Laurie
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38517

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nan,
you are probably right. im sure we all have a lot of spewing to do. I call it verbal diarrhea.

don,
you make me smile too. your mom sounds like a pip.

brandon,
thank you for sharing as well. don't beat yourself up too much. none of us are 'grown' at 19 even though most would say so. at 19 I was living on my own in another state for college but still cautiously navigating through the world revolving around me haha!

laurie,
im sad that you have anxiety over the move. this might sound strange to mention now but does your mom have a commode "for emergency" might help to calm her mind and yours as well if she doesn't already.

happy mothers day to all that have that special right. and to your moms/ wives/ family. I know im a day early but I probably wont be stopping in till late tomorrow. foodservice weekend from hell lol. ill try and be nice and not kick any bratty children he he ;)
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38519

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I read a lot of hard learned wisdom from you all here. It’s to bad it takes us so long to get there. :dry:

I’ll be plagiarizing y’alls “verbal vomit” and “verbal diarrhea” descriptions in the future. ;) I already use “stinking thinking” that a lady in recovery at CR uses. :whistle:

Michele, the world couldn’t have revolved around you, it was already revolving around me. :P Unfortunately it still does at times. :(
Ditto on your Mother’s Day wish to the ladies. :)
My Grandkids say I’m a cuckoo head. ;)
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38524

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Yes, Happy Mother’s Day in case we are too busy surviving to log in, haha!

Yes, we have plan B for bathroom, michele373.

It’s such an unnecessarily complex plan that it’s BEYOND ridiculous. That’s all I’ll say. She has never NEEDED the bathroom when I’m in there (for personal hygiene purposes) since I moved in over 6 years ago.

We also have Depends because #1 is also an issue. She tells me she doesn’t need them and then I get more, “rinse and repeat” (not literally).

She’s much less manipulative than HER mother was. So I try to be grateful for that.

And change my “stinking thinking” often as possible!
Laurie
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Last edit: by Laurie.

My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38583

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that's good to hear laurie. youre a caretaker I know you know the procedures better than I, im still learning stuff by trial and error. my moms got an ostomy bag so shes got a permanent pik line for nutritional treatments. her urges can be sudden so trust me I get it. but yes got her an emergency seat. she still tries to be fast on her feet even though its not wise or safe. even fell in front of the nurse the other day. not serious but still. I can only shake my finger at her so much lol.
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38602

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Tiggermanscrat wrote: Ladies,
I feel your pain because my mom does the same kind of thing.
I commend you both for loving your moms so much that you hang in there with them. =D>

My 85 year old mom’s latest thing is to ask for a priest whenever she doesn’t get her way. :lol:


Oh my goodness Tigger!!! I'm sorry but I almost spewed coffee on my monitor after reading this!!!! I'm sorry but I had to chuckle at that!! Oh my goodness!! LOL! You need to get a priests wardrobe and a good friend in the know and spare the middleman. Have said friend read her the "proverbial" riot act about tempting the hand of God!!!

Be blessed!

Robie
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38604

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Sorry about that Robie.
You need to make sure you aren't drinking anything when you read some of our posts. :lol:
michele will sneak a zinger in now an again also. :ohmy:

Thanks for making me chuckle and smile with your suggestion. :-bd
My Grandkids say I’m a cuckoo head. ;)
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 months 1 week ago #38605

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Tiggermanscrat wrote: Sorry about that Robie.
You need to make sure you aren't drinking anything when you read some of our posts. :lol:
michele will sneak a zinger in now an again also. :ohmy:

Thanks for making me chuckle and smile with your suggestion. :-bd


Oh you are certainly welcome! And thank you for the chuckle. It reminded me of someone long ago!!! Thank YOU for the chuckle!!! LOL!

Robie
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