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TOPIC: My mom has dementia but with an asterisk

My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 1 month 1 week ago #41401

  • Nan70
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I am taking everyone of those prayers and thanking everyone for caring and for the love and support.
My sister just told me the nurses have called my dad and said my mom got up by herself and started walking around. They will evaluate her mobility tomorrow and its important that they do not need to recommend a rehab facility. I am very worried about Functional Decline in Hospitalized Elderly
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK2629/?fbcl...wpkc2sSulbI11m9addpc
www.americannursetoday.com/reducing-func...wpkc2sSulbI11m9addpc

The hospital has done very little to address this and yes we have been bugging them.

I am discouraged with our health care system for her upset stomach they ordered her on a liquid diet, I am thinking ensure or pedialyte at least. Nope! cafeteria processed tomato soup, soda, ice cream and pudding for stomach pain this combo would make me ill not help an upset stomach. I want her out and home, Rehab will continue will greasy food and soda. They need to hire a nutritionist and stop eating bacon and hot dogs.

One step at a time and will see what happens tomorrow. (My dad just installed a chair lift, no more falls on the steps, got to get her home)
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 1 month 1 week ago #41403

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nan,

im so sorry to only be responding now! at least you KNOW its not in her head or exaggeration. im not trying to sound mean at all. my mom has it as well and always eats stuff she shouldn't but ive come to terms I cant change her. and im the daughter! lol..i totally agree on how are they supposed to get better when all they give you is processed crap. at best. if the package of saltines is the most nutritionally sound that's scary! there should be adequate staff, supplies, and equipment. proper nutrition is as important as medicine. but they are focused on greed.

im sorry not trying to get you riled up it just upsets me. i just hope she gets better soon. we will all be thinking of you often...
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 1 month 1 week ago #41407

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Hi Nan70! Hospitals and drs have not been trained on proper food yet. I’m sorry to hear you’re so distraught. Please let us know how your dad is doing when you get a chance.

I hate being the shopper for my mom. Squeeze cheese?! Seriously?!? She calls it a “special treat”, I call it toxic, hazardous waste in a can!

But I get it for her because I want her to be HAPPY AS POSSIBLE during our time together. She accidentally eats actual food when I fix stuff that tickles her taste buds. But she flat refuses to eat real food 99% of the time and she still continues to improve, health wise!

Your mom is in good hands - food issues aside. It’s great that she got up by herself!

Hopefully they are keeping track of her meds! That ONE THING is super important to get her UTI cleared, her pneumonia under control and her diverticulitis will remain as a chronic condition AT HOME soon.

Praying for you ALL like crazy. Much love xoxo
Laurie
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Last edit: by Laurie.

My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 1 month 1 week ago #41422

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Omg squeezed cheese. I grow up on that stuff. It triggered fun memories even if they source it from Chernobyl. lol

Thank you for reminding me of my dad, he is very stressed and can't have a straight thought. Their AC is broken and they won't have the part until Monday to fix it, tops thing off for him. But he has to make changes he had the idea of the stair lift and spent way too money money to install(he jumped the gun a little on it) I have been finding things out too- he met with a health aid and it went well but when she left my mom said she hated her and threatened not to talk to him. He gave in to her. She is very convincing in lying to me and able to completely manipulate my father into giving her whatever food she wants and buying her stuff off QVC. She was ordered on a low-residue diet, she is mad and refuses to eat. Soon I feel they will recommend the rehab facility. I am standing by waiting for updates. My sisters, I just learned had a fight recently and are barely talking,

All her infections are clearing.

im sorry not trying to get you riled up it just upsets me. i just hope she gets better soon. we will all be thinking of you often...


No worries while I am posting on the vent thread I can allow a little riling up. Thank you for the concern.

My family is crazy I am trying to observe and help from a safe enough distance.
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 1 month 6 days ago #41423

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Nan,
Sorry to hear about your family craziness. It is good that you are staying a safe distance away because crazy is catchy. :woohoo:
Just ask my wife, she'll say our grandkids caught it from me. :whistle:

When my mother in law came to live with us I installed an acorn stairlift from my basement garage to our main floor. It cost me about $1200 for the parts to do the work myself. After about 15 years we still have it installed. I was going to take it out after she passed but Liz said we might need it in our old age. :ohmy:
She was right, as usual, and we have both used it after our spine surgeries. It has been well worth what it cost us.

When I was a kid I considered Snackmate (cheese in a can) the 4th food group after Ice Cream, Cake, and steak. (especially for the munchies) :lol:
I'm still alive (barely), so how could any of that be bad for you? :P
My Grandkids say I’m a cuckoo head. ;)
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 1 month 6 days ago #41426

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Hey Nan,

In think making some big batches of bone broth and having portions in the freezer to take out with convenience might be a good to implement.... bone marrow/ broth is very medicinal I’m nutrition and even just with added herbs and some sea salt is delicious on its own as a cup of broth to sip on or thrown into soups .....

Hospitals are so backwards when it comes to nutrition...
You’d think that they’d have the means to have HEALING FOOD ...versus the crap that led most of their patients to there door step
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 1 month 6 days ago #41429

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THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATES, Nan70!

My heart goes out to all of you. Particularly you and your dad.

I’m glad the antibiotics are working and perhaps your mom can head home soon.

Hospital food can be frustrating! Sounds like yours is still in the dark ages of low fat food still. Some hospitals have really cool food now with chefs like Petunia making delicious food and STILL meeting the guidelines of the Eff Dee Yay pyramid of nutrition for dummies! I had a friend who worked at the hospital where I lived in Idaho. It was DELICIOUS food and I was HAPPY to meet her for lunch at the cafeteria!

Thanks for letting us know how y’all are doing! Hug your cat and dad and I’ll be praying for y’all ongoing.

Sending love and support xoxo
Laurie
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 1 month 6 days ago #41433

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brandon is completely right! I have a small instapot that I make stocks with at home, faster than a stock pot and not as much hassle as a pressure cooker. put a few pint containers in freezer, easy to store. ive also followed robs advice and started organic black seed oil. its got a strong taste but I can cap it/ make a dressing ect..

laurie, youre right.. and hospitals are still understaffed so they barely have enough time to do it all. once you factor in special diets and 'liquids' not to mention special orders.. I came close to going for a job at the VA near me..but its hard for me to do emotionally tough at work. part of why I work at a golf club. bo hoo it rained waaaahhhh rich boy problems lol..

nan, hang in there. don't let sister drama get you down. and all families are crazy. even a little. ok some more lot. mine puts the fun in disfunction!!!! and most of us have as many issues as sports illustrated. hold steady all will be ok.
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 weeks 5 days ago #41798

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Update-
Mom has been in rehab working on PT and OT. Her infections have cleared. Mental health is a roller coaster.
Dad is beside himself but he also doesn't listen to anything practical to alleviate the situation.
Finally did my best push to try to get mental help for her-
She is obsessive compulsive with anxiety and has panics attacks, she also feels sorry for herself which makes her depressed and angry most of the time. This is outside of her dementia diagnosis. She is very capable and an expert in guilt trips and manipulating, mostly with my dad, in getting what she wants even though its mostly doing herself harm. This is the short version.

They feel she is doing enough to be released to home care in two weeks. The house has a chair lift now and he has arranged home care, not sure how many days. Dad is complaining about the cost.Not sure there is much choice. Our "health care" system is designed to take back every last damned dime you ever make until you leave this earth.

Anyone has any advice to give on helping with the mental issues I am opened.

When I was visiting her she was in a lot of stomach pain and no body was dealing with this issue.

So I couldn't help but remember this classic scene. This was me on the inside but I actually politely asked it she was allowed Tylonel.
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 3 weeks 5 days ago #41823

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Hello Nan. Bless your heart! I really wish there were something I could do for you. All that I can do is hold you in my heart and offer you my prayers. It's a very difficult thing that you are having to experience. I'm afraid I have no advice either. I will pray for you and your family and hope that things work out for the better for everyone involved! And I offer you my heart felt wish that things start going smoother with your mother and father and family. And make sure you take care of yourself also Nan. Family troubles and issues can be very draining in more ways that one.

Be blessed Nan. I hope things get better soon and will pray for that.

Robie
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