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TOPIC: A First Timer's Review of Christopher's Organic Botanicals

A First Timer's Review of Christopher's Organic Botanicals 2 years 4 months ago #13376

  • klato
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This an is extra special review of a first time user's experience with Kratom in general, specifically Christopher's Organic Botanicals.

Virgin review written by one of our new assistant reviewers, AJ (Average Joe).


I'm a man of few and far-between recreational indulgences, but from time to time I become curious enough to dabble in tinctures of the shamans. Therefore, this review is by no means a connoisseur's, but is from the perspective of the inexperienced, first time user of kratom incense, with the aim allowing other inexperienced to vicariously walk the path for the first time. So fire up those mirror neurons and let the journey begin!

About Kratom

According to Wikipedia, "Mitragyna speciosa (also known as ketum or kratom) is a tropical deciduous and evergreen tree in the coffee family (Rubiaceae) native to Southeast Asia in the Indochina and Malaysia floristic regions. M. speciosa is indigenous to Thailand where it has been used in traditional medicine … kratom leaves have been used for medicinal purposes by nomadic tribes throughout history." No further comment required, you get the gist.

The Journey Begins

After research, my journey begins when I'm put in touch with Christopher of Christopher’s Organic Botanicals. Our correspondence was friendly, which made me feel more comfortable about my new impending experience. I was given heads up and a tracking number when my package shipped. My package was discreetly packed, and varieties were vacuum sealed for freshness. Online transactions can sometimes feel unnerving for any first time experience with a merchant, however Christopher’s friendliness set my mind at ease. Looking further into the company, I found their website to be very upfront with facts including regions of legality and even a scientific-looking thorough alkaloid content breakdown.


As with any experiment of science, different amounts of a substance will yield different results. What amount of kratom is optimal? How much will yield what effect? Time to break out the beakers and triple beam scales, IT'S TIME TO DO SCIENCE!
  • After a 9 mile hike in the blazing LA sun and a couple hours rest, I’m feeling a bit sore and out of it. Perfect time to see what this stuff is made of! But I’m not ready to jump in head first quite yet. Stepping in, I measure a teaspoon of Green Kapaus Hulu. While I’m not used to measuring things in grams, my research shows that a 5ml teaspoon of kratom is ~4.5 grams. With the bravery of a team of elite military parachuters, my mission begins. Time to chill and let the troops do their job. 4.5g being on the lower end of recommended partaking, the effects were a mild euphoria and mild energy boost. I would definitely feel comfortable enjoying this amount while being functional in a social environment. A few hours later, the effects reverse and I readily drift into a peaceful sleep.
  • The day after a hike is the worst, your body is sore, you ache, and need relief. Perfect time to try my next strain, Red Maeng Da. I measure out about 7 grams worth and put my handy macha stirrer whisk to work. The 'scent' reminds me of a bittered matcha flavor. My experience is best described as quite relaxing for a couple hours, followed by a rather annoying come-down which I kill by drifting into a nap. I believe I’ve reached above my limit, dictated by this come-down. All-in-all I take this as a good sign that not as much is needed to get the job done.
  • With a tip toe back into my review process, my next experience is with ½ teaspoon (just over 2 grams) of white maeng da. I've been forewarned of its strength. Today I'm going out and about with the family and need to remain completely functional as we make a fun family video. An hour or so later I’m riding a nice energy boost and the feeling is so natural I forgot I partook in my kratom incense. A few hours later and I have a light come down which I rest off. The best description for my experience is something of an intense cup of coffee with a comedown of inverse value. Enjoyable, productive, but once you start to run out of steam be ready to nap it off.
  • At this point I feel I’m starting to get a grasp of how kratom operates, but I want to revisit the green and recheck my very first experience with a lower dosage than the first pataking. This time I go with ½ teaspoon (about 2 grams) of Green Vietnam. This amount was a sweet spot for the white, so let’s give it a go with the green. I found this amount to provide a gentle boost of energy and sociability, not quite as effective as the white.


It would make absolutely no sense for a noob to talk of refined aspects of strains. That said, the basics are green & white gives a nice energy boost, red gives a relaxation. From what I’ve gathered about the finer aspects of specific strains for white, red, green - it may be something like that of wine tasting. Some people have the palate and attention to discern specific types within the green family, others not so readily- and as a truth, not every substance affects everyone the exact same way.


Kratom is a cheap, effective way to put you in the appropriate mood. There is a comedown of inverse value, so I plan to incorporate it into my creative routine before bedtime. If you're on the fence as to whether or not to give kratom a try, I can recommend that your experience - at the least - will be a pleasant, fun experience, and a break from the day-to-day grind of clock-in-clock-out. I imagined my experience with kratom would be a one-time fling, but I see myself as a repeat customer in the future, it’s a cheap, legal, hassle free activity. My very positive experience with Christopher’s Organic Botanicals adds that extra layer of comfort.

Reviewer's Photos

Read full and additional reviews @ The Secret Garden Guide

Special thanks to Christopher of Christopher's Organic Botanicals to providing the sample to our assistant reviewer. An official review by Klato with numerical scores will be posted soon to The SGG.
The following user(s) said Thank You: C.O.B, Kaycee777

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