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22 Jun 2020
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45728

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That “out of body” feeling lingers on...I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your mom and your life with many of us here who really love you...Big hugs to your dad...Hopefully he can find a good path for his own life after this trauma settles down...
Your mom has left her best work here with us ;-)
Laurie
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45717

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I am in a good place. I feel different. My middle sister confirmed this feeling too. We feel at peace but we are mourning. Sunday is the funeral.
My mom passed last night. I had a vision two days ago and I am not the vision type. I told my dad days ago she would pass Thursday night.
I went out to look to see if could see any meteors from the "unicorn showers" but it was too overcast. I went inside posted a photo of my mom on Facebook at 11:34 pm I sat there with phone in hand. 12:04 my dad called and told me she passed at 11:57 pm.
Also could be a coincidence. But I am not the type to do this type of posting on Facebook.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvMDwJkvZaw&fbclid=IwAR1hD...86rUSxL4R8_4DqssFBfo
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45695

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you both inspire me!

how you get so much done...

im the opposite. stressed or overwhelmed im laaaazy. most days off I just chill. I mean I still get stuff done, but thankfully my husband does a bit more of the cleaning. I do a lot more cooking/ dishes. but I love to unwind and watch the boob tube and play on the computer lol..

nan,

I know you will keep us updated. my prayers for your family are with you. im glad you all are standing strong together.

laurie,

last time I cleaned blinds I soaked them in the bathtub. if theyre bigger than that I spayed them with a hose outside lol..if you take it easy and don't try to outdo yourself.. I have faith in you!
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45660

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We share the coping skills of cleaning. Staying physically busy with knocking down spider webs or hauling the space rugs to the big laundry machines, stuff like that is SO HELPFUL. I will never forget seeing a woman in New Orleans before Hurricane Katrina. Saw her on the news. She was explaining how she spent the day before it vacuuming and dusting the whole house. It was destroyed. I would be washing the linoleum by hand if I were you!

Baseboards need wiping, window blinds need washing but I’d never survive the process-it’s on my bucket list (yes, getting the blinds cleaned). Even a good strain would not be enough to get that done with my sciatica, even though it’s merely vulnerable and has inflammation and muscle apathy due to depression (not the mood, the illness).

You’re a wonderful woman and your Mom is very lucky to have you. You are a product of some of her best work! Sounds like she knew/knows that and appreciates you.

Good luck with your dad. I can tell that is a big issue still snowballing in the background. I’m praying for y’all like crazy.
Laurie
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45654

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Mom's still here in body only. Her sense of humor was just amazing so when I joke the nurses are starting a pool and she is looking to break the hospice record, I know she would belly laugh and say you better believe I will break that record. My dad has finally found peace with this process.

If she was reading this conversation she would probably say the bastards would summons her to serve and hospice wouldn't sway them to dismiss.She refused to register to vote because she believed they used that record to summons.

Today I have been making nest like a bird. Nesting. Putting my ducks in a row. I feel I am cleaning, doing chores,paying bills ahead of time, like I am clearing the way, preparing. Its a cooping mechanism and boy my house is clean. My back is mad at me but my kratom is a blessing.
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45625

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nan,

you are doing great considering. you know when you look forward to going to work because its less stressful, you are having a rough and bumpy ride. hang on. lots of hugs!

don, only 5 timrs in 25 yrs? you lucky goat you..

ive been called 5 times in less than 15. served on a jury once. yeah.. big spenders.. maybe lunch OR gas. but certainly not both!
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45613

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My daughter just got called for jury duty. Her 3rd time. Last time was April of this year. This time they are going to allow her to postpone it till February when her calendar isn't full of school stuff.

I've been called 5 times in 25 years and served on a jury twice. :angry:

The moneys great though, I could almost afford to buy lunch for my wife and I. :lol:
My Grandkids say I’m a cuckoo head. ;)
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45612

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Why this accelerated fast-
Dementia-accelerating problems: delirium.
Delirium is a state of worse-than-usual confusion brought on by illness or some kind of stress on the body or mind. It is especially common during hospitalization.

Increased All-Cause Mortality by Antipsychotic Drugs

jayisk linked this a few threads back
www.verywellmind.com/antipsychotic-medications-black-box-warning-379657

I have no doubts.

Your body gives you cues, I fully believe this, if you take medicine and it doesn't work its usually going to be toxic to continue taking or cause the opposite effect of what its trying to treat.

grabbing hugs from everyone before I head out. Going to work is feeling normal, I need a bit of normal.
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45611

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Nan,
I read your post to Liz last night when I got home from my recovery meeting.
She said the same thing that Michele did about letting your mom know it is ok to go.
Has your dad told her?
If that was my Liz laying there I don't think I could tell her it was OK to go. :(
Liz knows that of me too and I think it would make it hard for her to let go and try to stay for me.

When Liz's mom was in the hospital for her last few days it seemed she was hanging on for someone. After her brother flew down to see her one last time in the hospital, my wife told her it was ok to let go now and she passed a few hours later.

Our heartfelt prayer are lifted to God for your and your family that His peace and comfort will be poured out on you all.
Don and Liz. >:D >:D
My Grandkids say I’m a cuckoo head. ;)
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My mom has dementia but with an asterisk 11 months 1 week ago #45609

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We thought age limit would prevent being called over a certain age also. Mom’s brother in law said the age limit is 75 last night on the phone. We figured we would check in, they would take note of Mom’s age and excuse her/us. Nope. They mentioned that names are acquired from both the DMV and from voting records. But Mom was not pathetic looking today. She looked well and had on a new outfit (I accidentally threw away her box of winter clothing, we think - long story). So she was forced to get all new stuff this past week - not too bad for ordering 2 sizes too big from catalogs). No holes in the sweater was fun!

I have been unwell but improving at kratom-leave-developing pace. We took the ocean roads to the courthouse in my little Fiat. Beautiful day, mild traffic (unusual). Several people around 75, maybe 82ish were also there. One of the selected jurors survived a stroke 3 weeks ago. His daughter (younger than me, closer to late 40’s was ALSO picked to serve also! So cute that his daughter will be deliberating with him!)

My depression (the illness, not the mood) has been less debilitating the last couple of days. I’m so glad I was ABLE to take Mom. She ran into a friend and they chatted much of the afternoon breaks. We went to a great Mexican dinner on the way home (before the geriatric hour) and we were home in “robe and slippers” by 6!

Hard not to lose tempers when everything is so raw and exposed, Nan70. I’m glad you know how much we care about you and your mom and family. Your Dad might not be as lost as you imagine. I’m also praying for his sweet soul in all of this.

Thanks for caring about us, too <hug>
Laurie
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