07 Feb 2019
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TOPIC: Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great...

Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36936

  • victorb153
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ive been on benzo forums non stop ..had meetings with physchiatrist and doctors told them I am 3 weeks clean had papers printed out about Ashton manual and studied what to say to them .. I thought I would get couple words for coming off their pain meds they had me on for 3 years.. nothing they wouldn't discuss my nightmare of insomnia of past 9 months ,,,physchiatrist who has polydrugged me for 9 months told him also I was clean ... didn't mention Kratom... just how I was feeling worse everyday and couldn't function or barely care for my children and they getting give me 5 minutes never er mentioned my need to care for children or my kicking the pain meds ..just treated me like I was seeking more benzo drugs .. they knew nothing of Ashton manual and didn't even barely glance at it when I gave it to them.... So I have had a connection to get xanax the worst benzo thats what has saved me the past month and got me some sleep.. I what valium I want to follow the proper way tom taper off... I begged for the chance to do it right ,, they just handed me a rehab pamphlet the place drugs you for a couple week and throws you out .. I just did 9 mo0nths withe a physchiatrist doing that....But I have a goal and a plan... I got xanax to last me a couple months... its strange because my case is so different .. I never took them once during the day I thought it was just my sleeping pill till they took it away...and they said it was because they were giving me pain meds and actually told;d me to choose one.. so I chose the pain meds....I thought the other was just a sleeping pill....but I have a plan im trying to find some valium because thats what the Ashton Manual says and thats the best to taper down from... and ive got two months to find a doctor then its summer and the kids won't be in school and I won't have to be perfect from 6am to 830 am getting breakfast clothes and getting them on bus and from 4 pm to 10pm getting dinner and entertaining/activities and getting them to bed at 9... ideally I wish I had two years my daughters only 8 and my son 13 is developmentally delayed/'autistic but super smart...in two years they will be able to care for them selves if I hit a rough patch... but I am going to try and do it this summer hoping to find a doctor who understands the Ashton Manual .. if not I will try to taper on my own...but I have to stay here because this is the place that gave me hope... I did not believe in anyway that I could kick 3 years of serious pain meds by myself at home drinking some leaves LOL.... especially after going thro 9 months of trying everything on the planet for sleeping...But like I said I think it was the fact that it was illegal in my state and others and there were so many people writing about it being dangerous that made me think maybe just maybe these leaves dod have something in them... I really thought it was just going to be a cup of chamomile tea....... But he Kratom actually working ... I am 3 weeks clean without a thought of ever taking p[ainmed again....this week I even skipped a couple doses and then I did a whole day without any and didn't have any problem...so thanks to Kratom and you all I beat it and thats given me hope that I will find a way to beat the benzos......when ever I am reading thru the benzo boards and see someone write about Kratom I give them your forum and tell them I dont know about the benzo part I just used it to kick pain meds im still in benzo battle ... but I tell them I will vouch and be forever grateful for Ilovektratom .com and the wonder people on here and re-leaf llc Kratom that actually worked ... I still cant believe it LOL.....
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Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36939

  • kratering
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Hey Victor if you are going to use street Xanax you need a fentanyl testing kit.

A lot of adulterated material out there.
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Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36942

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victor im just glad you are ok. happy kratom has helped you this much! missed a few doses too! that is truly an accomplishment. im a mopey lump some days I don't take kratom. trying other supplements too to help ease things on those days. this forum has helped me in so many ways as well. my angels are all here...
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Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36946

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I don't understand doctors anymore. My brief brush with Xanax and doctors was its temporary medicine cause its additive but that is all I wanted was help with a extremely horrible anxiety patch I occasionally go through that usually runs it course in three weeks (once or twice a year occurrence) this was the worst I ever had so I mentioned it the doctor for the first time. They wanted to throw anti depressants at me. So I told them you won't prescribe the medicine made for short term use but want to put me on medicine that is more complicated to stop using. Loved the blank stare from the doctor.

I also do not understand why or how my mom's neurologist prescribed her Xanax and Zoloft(I am not questioning her need) but why can she easily get it and not victor.

Unfortunately your doctors are more concerned and have labeled you "xanax seeker" than treating you with what you want and need. We need more power in our our health decisions (won't type the curse words but really want to) Nothing works to help you sleep. You tell them Xanax works and they don't care UGH.

Victor I am really sorry it didn't workout with you appointment. You could keep trying doctors, but seems frustrating and again that might label you further "seeker". I do not judge or blame you for seeking your medicine. Kratering gave a good'suggestion not sure where you get kits but a few extra bucks for peace of mind.

Caring for the babes is hard, tremendous pressure as a parent, I hear your worry. You got the kids taken care of, you talk about the thing you do for them and its getting done. Take time to appreciate yourself. One day at a time you are successfully managing them, thank yourself. You are already 100 time better than most able parents.
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Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36954

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I dont get them from the street really that's just an expression... I got lucky some very respectable contractor has a doctor who I think is his brother who just happened to give him a script and he never really fills maybe twice a year and he just fill one and gave it to me..hes so respectable that I didn't want to and ask him anything sleazy like could you ask to switch to valium plus like I said his fills it a couple times a year...someone else I happened to be taking to said to med hey I got a bunch of flexitril a muscle relaxer I said no thank doubt he told me he was put on Klonopin one time. and still had 5 of them and he said his doctor is his friend and if he wants he could get a script refilled a couple times or longer easy.. he gave me the t5 to try... and I don't want to ask him to do it that way.. these are older strait business guys.. and their doctors dont take new patients and I cant stand looking like a pill seeker....but in the last month when I just opened up talking about it and kicked the pain meds I have several people who said I will talk to my doctor just so he will at least see you once and offer advice ..because I've had a few who said call my doctor and use my name and I couldn't get by sec retary saying no new patients.... so they said. when they hav e their next appointment they will talk to them directly to get them to at least advise me... these are all country club golf buddies....I have an appointment with my hematologist who put me thru 3 years of chemo and knows me and seen my children out several times tyigether and I got a yearly b]v sit with him in September I dont want to call and look desperate....I got a bunch of Xanax 3 months worth at the rate I take it and can get a bunch of Klonopin if I try it and like it... so I'm fine now till I find doctor or respectable way to get a guaranteed supply of valium ..... lots of posts are people tapering on xanax or Klonopin and not switching so I am very safe... thank you for caring...I am not going to try online Chinese companies or going to Mexico what ive read others do....they say 75-80 % of doctors out there still prescribe them regularly....I ws going to try the Klonopin tonight but I chicken out.. I want to read more..... thank you
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Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36955

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ive read all the Benzo forums and my case is so unique.. they started me off on 2 mg Ativan which is a large dose and it said twice a day but I was so wrapped up reading about the chemos and radiation I just thought it was a sleeping pill,,, and Ive never taken one during the day... I advent found anyone who's done it that way usually evefryone take this stuff 3 times a day at least.. but lucky again I had kids and never dared to even try one to sleep during day.. never really had a chance to sleep during the day and I didn't think of it as an anxiiety med I just thought sleeping pill... and the ativan is the fastest acting and gets out of your system the fastest also....thereason they dosed me like they did was I was in basically palliative care they didn't think io was going to live very long......but the Ashton Manual which ive learned is like the Bible of getting off this evil stuff switches people to valium because its has a lot longer haldf life so you dont get interdose withdrawal....many people dont switch and taper the one they are on... but this stuff is hell most everyone says it takes 4 months for 4 years for even short term users... but again many people say they've been on it for 30 30 years and it saved their lives... but getting off it is near impossible....becvause its permanently block my Gaba receptors so ive got to like grown develop new ones....I hate putting it this way but I remember when I was on it all those years used to brag how great it was ...id look at the clock and say oh shit its 1 am I forgot I gotta get uo early tomorrow never problem take my pill 20 mminutes later sleeping like. baby never really woke up groggy or anything.... the biggest down side is the total addiction its worse than anything and some people never get over it...they say it can cause dementia and falls .. so does sleeping for one hour every 2 to 5 days... I defiantly want off but at no major cost/effect on my children life... after what I went thru the past 9 months them poly drugging me ..I feel great... I was supposed to be dead 9 years ago... I just want to make it 10 more till my daughter is 18...I am so happy that I have made it till she is 8...now my goal is like 2 more years till she can feed herself and cook and got next level skills... then maybe they can put me in suspended animation and I can skip her teen years LOL....shes tough as nails and my son is the Dali lama he's a big strong kid so people really aren't going to mess with him but he couldn't get mad or hit someone if he had to he loves comedy. -word play ,puns , his recent love is the tv show the Office I worry about him because he is too nice.. my daughter I worry about the poor boy who falls for her.her daddy loved her way too much her future men are doomed.................................they pumped me full of Taxol poisonous tree bark and Carbo Platinum a poisonous heavy metal and Erbitux a poison protein from mice blood then irradiated me with 72 grays the most allowed a human being and added cisplatin chemo a chemo they stopped using because it was too brutal but effective I got it because I was stage 4b inoperable .. they had to do the process back wards and operate on the irradiated part of my neck at the end.... they had me on very massive pain med...all because I had a grapefruit growing out of my neck.... I was going to die so they had no second thoughts about pumping full of anything... thats why I never paid attention to my sleeping pill that worked great.....now that I lived am and alive and have two children I am solely responsible for they give me lectures on its addicting and it may cause this or that.....and I cant get them to talk to me for 5 minutes.....unles your defiantly dying they just dont want to do anything because they are more scared about their liability and FDA guide lines thats their first concern...
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Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36957

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Thank you for checking back in and sharing your tribulations, victorb153. I was JUST thinking, “I wonder how he’s sleeping these days” when your posts appeared.

I’m so disappointed in your dr visit. You continue to impress us and yourself.

I’ve never had Xanax before, but it has seemingly replaced Valium and I’m not sure why EXCEPT FOR PROFIT.

Our health industry is definitely unwell.

Since Bayer bought Monsanto, it has become hard for me to dismiss conspiracy theories of population control as having a role in killing us off with our negligence to advocate to LITERALLY SAVE OUR LIVES such as your story of bravery, determination and ultimately surviving every book thrown at you.

Thank you for sharing your battle.

A close relative of mine got addicted to oxy because she was denied a few Tylenol 3’s (codeine) for aches and pains in the mid 70’s age range.

Unbelievable that we cannot get the less addicting benzo ANYWHERE. Profit driven corruption is likely the only reason.

Victorb153, VERY GOOD hearing from you. Your sense of humor has emerged! Yay.! You must be getting some rest!
Laurie
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Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36967

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Victor actually they prescribed me Xanax as needed and I never took it except at night or if I was having a panic attack.

I felt that it affected my daytime performance. My work involves a lot of paperwork and email communications,client interactions. I like to be top of my game. So I only took it at night.

Until recently I was only taking Kratom after 3:00 in the afternoon. But then I ran out of Provigil a wakefulness enhancing drug.

Without the Provigil and it's brothers I literally am falling asleep at my desk. So I substituted the more energetic strains of Kratom for Provigil and I've been fine at work.


I'm in sales and being chatty and in a good mood is not that bad a way to be. Also Kratom doesn't seem to affect negatively my thought processes for complicated paperwork.
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Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36969

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Victorb153,

I hope you can sit back for a minute and catch your breath. I am sensing self judgment/stigma about the benzos that needs to be relieved. You are NOT an immoral person for accepting “help” that is truly needed. It’s not as though you abuse that medication you were wrongly prescribed.

Many people were prescribed benzos DECADES before anything was known about abuse/addiction issues related to their class of medication.

Please let go of the judgement somehow. Keep typing until it leaves you truly or you will never sleep well because you are judging yourself harshly.

I’m just throwing that out there. Lecture over.
Laurie
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Sorry I haven't checked in..a far as Kratom goes things are great... 3 months 1 week ago #36971

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Kratering,

Congratulations on making the switch from provigil to kratom! Intentional or not - very cool!
Laurie
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