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TOPIC: MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble.

MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44798

  • Oldfartsurfer
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Commune. Kentucky. Picked him up hitchhiking. He stayed with us for almost a year.
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MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44795

  • Somethingsacredgoinonhere
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I’m sure you’ve already considered this but I’ll just put it out there .... what helped me through some of my darkest moments in depression was getting very active , when I felt hopeless, apathetic, ready to jump out of my skin , I’d drop and do as many pushups as I could ... wait a few minuets , then do it one more time ... ... walking / hiking was also helpful... getting into body and out of head , was some of the best self help I found...

Anyone can say anything and it might not matter in the least when your submerged in hardship, emotional and otherwise.... but get more active/ physical.... distract yourself by doing things , try not to over think all of what’s happening .... just my thoughts jayisk, but this it what’s helped me in the past ...

Brandon

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MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44794

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David Byrne lived with me in 1970

Rhode Island School of design?
(geeking out a little- stop making sense was a good portion of my teen self music rotation)
I am thinking because you surf you are in consideration for quarterback.
Babel is our body builder I am still considering position.

(c) (L) (c)
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MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44793

  • Somethingsacredgoinonhere
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Jayisk!!! Brother man!!! I think about you bro, I’m happy you checked in. We are always here to check in with whenever you need some friendly support .... what life can feel like when everything is intense combined with health concerns.... feels like that’s all there is ....I’m sorry it’s been a rough time .... feel free to pm me anytime to vent , to talk, anytime Jayisk .... we’re all on this crazy journey called life, it helps to have a tribe to get through these tough times !! (L) We’re here for you bro (L)

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MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44789

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Thanks Nan70!
Just so I get my full rock credentials on your ILK team....
I saw QotSA, Audio Slave, Jane, all in one concert. And Perfect Circle and NIN (Manson on the last couple songs) at Madison Square Garden. David Byrne lived with me in 1970.

I'm Seventy but not dead yet!
By the way, my life was literally insane in my late 30's / early 40's...... It took some effort and pain to turn it around.... But think of it.... I've lived almost 35 very good years after that.... So for those that struggle and are in that age range,.... I just want to say, the effort to get better is worth it, and there is way more time than it seems to enjoy life after you've faced some difficult times.
The pain I manage is so much less than others in our group, it difficult for me to say that it's just part of our life puzzle to solve with natural solutions and/or meditate beyond. But that's the way it works for me.
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MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44788

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Hey jayisk,
First I would like to say I just drafted you on my fantasy ILK football team for the defensive line...

I hope you are not feeling guilty because of the health problems. Guilt is the fastest way to go down the depression hole especially doubled up with other problems. I learned to dump this emotion. Chronic pain still gets me down but I damned right do not feel guilty for having my back problems. It took me a while to get to this point. My pain, my back, my limitations is what it is. I do what I can to manage, heal, and I accept my current situation which is much better due to kratom.
One thing I do if I feel stuck in the house trying to recuperate is listen to Like Clockwork (and Villains) from Queens of the Stone Age. It was written during a very trying physical and emotional decline of the lead singer, Josh Homme.
And also not hyper focus on what I am not getting done in the house. Leave it be.

Your past experiences are invaluable, the lessons you can give to people and your own children.
I am glad you posted this and hearing the honesty is bold. I am also understanding lately how damaging anxiety is and how very underrated it is as a mental health problem. The amount of times its dismissed like it can be willed away, if only, it doesn't happen like that.

continually integrate non-material exercises into my daily life.

Keep this up. Its the best advice.

In case any of your current health problems relate. I recently self treated severe lower body tendinitis
www.ilovekratom.com/forum/health-and-wellness/8282...-knee?start=70#43559


......Babel and Oldfart are also drafted on my ILk team........
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MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44784

  • Insense1
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Ween yourself off and stop taking extracts, they are not reliable.

All You do is put your body under torment

If you continue with extracts, your body will get used to them and they won't work at all and you will be up s*it creek

The plain powder form is best, for you and for your body....and you know whats in it!

Hope you get well soon.

insense1
Rob
:-)

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MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44779

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Yes! Wonderful thoughts.

There's Action and then there's Reaction.
Kids in jail especially tell the same story, how they reacted based on a previous reaction, that was created in reaction to an even earlier reaction (and on and on!)........ And then they can't figure out why their life feels like a giant pinball machine!

Action without reaction is really tough, but powerful.

My favorite heros say the art of learning about action starts at the most basic point...learning how to breathe.

I'm getting through some discomfort from surgery,... And my kratom combined with breathing exercises are an amazing combo. It helps a little bit with my patience too, until I can surf again!
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MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44777

  • Littlebear3
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Thoughts on quitting drinking.
It takes a really long time to heal the brain from drinking.

I read an article about change. The gist of it was that true change is slow and gradual. I tend to get overwhelmed by keeping my house in order to the point where I just give up. Too much to do and I can not handle it.

The thing is, things didn't get out of order all at once. It happened slowly over weeks, months and sometimes years. So we shouldn't expect to reverse it all at once.

Since I read that I altered my thinking. Small things matter. And lots of small things over time can make a massive change. I still stress about life feeling out of control, but I do practice taking a break and doing just one thing. And some times I do one extra thing.
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MIT45 - I think I'm in trouble. 7 months 1 week ago #44773

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Hi!
We are always "the last to know" in so many categories. Often something actually is improving in our life, but it is so camouflaged by an existing pain, anxiety, illness, that its nearly impossible to see it for ourselves. Yet people around us see that we are getting better. Sometimes if they tell us though, we get pissed off, .. Our thinking. "Wow you are so wrong"!

But Jayisk, I think many in our forum family would agree we see something in you that is you, "getting better" .... simply by virtue of your reaching out, and writing you feelings and thoughts.
Please don't think I'm arrogant in what go I on to write below.
Although it is comforting to be recognized, with sympathy and support from others, .... I often need a "game plan", some straight up advice. Even if the advice doesn't fit, I have something to "bounce off of"!

So I'd thought I'd pass on my experience, and you can see if there is something you can use.
If some of the below works for you, great!

I never learned anything worthwhile by doing it right the first time. So first of all don't beat yourself up over the forward and back motion in your life right now.
But here's what I learned in overcoming critical challenges in my own life:
1) There's a big difference between being powerless and helpless.
There are lots of things we are powerless over, but very few things we are actually helpless over.
When I shift my perspective to powerless, just that one issue, stops for awhile. Everything else in my life can continue.
But if allow myself to feel helpless, ... Everything Stops! I feel frozen and crushed.
When I work to understand what is powerless, I feel humbled. When I just immediately go to feeling helpless, I feel humiliated. And there's a big difference between living humbled and humiliated.
When we are able to identify and isolate those actual helpless issues, there's a lot less to either solve or just accept.
In addition to just believing that there are those two very different conditions (powerless / helpless, that can be applied to the same "event" ..... Writing a simple "Gratitude List" also helps, and no matter how short it is, keep it in your pocket at all times.

2) Even if I have been harmed, victimized, suffered, with no apparent cause coming from myself ....
I can "get out of my own way", or free myself from self-centered fear, by focusing on other people for awhile. I don't have to go and do something big, or be the hero for someone. It can start by simply "people watching". Or engaging in conversation, where I work to understand from someone whats important to them for that time. It just gives my brain a little break from being so wrapped up about "me". Even a small break is a relief, and ultimately it seems I am provided the opportunity to do something for someone else that's important.
3) I have positive personality characteristics and negative ones. I think myself, and some humans in general,...tend to go towards there negative characteristics first, ... intimidation, sarcasm, anger, ....
I think this is because when we exhibit characteristics like this we see a result Immediately! Not a great result but at least its a reaction from {me}! It empowers and feeds my ego, that I have some sway over the world. Its sooo tempting.

Yet when I use my positive characteristics, .. kindness, compassion, joy, .... I rarely see the end results.
Yes, I see the reaction around me .... but the actual and ultimate results from kindness travel a long way. By believing this happens, and using it, it helps to free me from suffering.

I hope something here makes sense or is helpful. Just shifting your perspective a little bit, can start a chain reaction to help to navigate your own path.
Kratom is a critical factor in my own quality of life, but I feel like I should be responsible to along with the kratom, continually integrate non-material exercises into my daily life.

And apologies in advance to those wonderful forum members who read this and go WTF???!!!
It's For better or worse, It's "just the world according to me" ,

Steven
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